I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
