I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
