I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
