Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
