I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
