Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
