Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
