I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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