We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
