How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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