...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
