How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
