Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
