strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
