In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
