If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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