I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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