My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
