So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
