Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The air was thick with penises
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
