Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
