I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I will be naked everywhere
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
