When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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