beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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