I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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