he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
