I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
