...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
