no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
