Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
