We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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