I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
