He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I will be naked everywhere
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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