i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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