guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
