i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
