I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
