Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
