I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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