i just wanna soil my oats bro
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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