And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
