I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
