I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
