You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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