Screwed.edu
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
