why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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