Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
