Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
