How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize