If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
smell my finger.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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