her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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