PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
