I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize