She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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