i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
