haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
