Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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