seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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