the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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