yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
