woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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