So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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