is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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