My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i barfeds in our rink
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
