I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
