You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
