I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
